A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

YOLO

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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