A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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