Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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