Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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Knock Knock Come in

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

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A child with cancer grows up.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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