What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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KKK

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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