How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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