What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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What is 2+2? 4!

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops