Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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