why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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A blind man walks into a bar

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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