Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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