You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

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24

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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asparagus

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops