- Anti Joke

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

Juggling lions and breast feeding.

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

Knock knock Come In.......

What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos