Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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25

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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7

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a man walks into horse bar

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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i love huge wieners.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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