A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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