Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did i fall? i got pushed!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Take my wife- to the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

thumb_up thumb_down +11

no

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops