Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Dancing Potatoe!

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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hi michael

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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