What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You just won the game...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +6

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops