A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Ted Haggard.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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