Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

42

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

why was the man gay? because he likes men.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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