Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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Nice weather we're having.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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