First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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A man walks into a bar. He recieves a concussion and dies of internal bleeding 3 hours later.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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