it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

A jew go out of a bar

whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

what did one tree say to the other? move over

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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