Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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conrad profit

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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