why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Murder me once, shame on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life throws you lemons, duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mom is so blind she cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops