Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

women playing football?

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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