- Anti Joke

Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

wtf the enter the following thingie says I am here

Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

hi michael

Women