An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Halo < COD

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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Nobody cares.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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