Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

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What was Helen Keller book called Bsnshsiengwkaisg

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What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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