How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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Why did I get raped

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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If I get 100 likes by tomorrow I will send 100 dollars to who ever likes it if the put down their address and say its for Louis Ok?

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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