What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What did the fish say? Moo

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Obama

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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