A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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aggie wilkinson, i WOULD!!!!!

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so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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