what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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A blind man walks into a bar

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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George Bush.

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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I am on a escalator.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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