What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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twilight

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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knock knock go away ok

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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