Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Are you a human?

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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