Jared Gough is a slut

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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Period Blood

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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