What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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Women's sports

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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marshal sterio had sex

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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