What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Pickles

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Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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