Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

What happened to Emma? I raped her!

What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

minecraft

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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