If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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