Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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