I have a crush on my dad.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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