How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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dislike this...please.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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this is gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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My pet rock died.

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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whats brown? poop.

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops