Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

Knock Knock Come in

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

1234 5

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

A child with cancer grows up.

How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

Dear Board of education, so are we.

What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

A jew go out of a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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