Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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12

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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How did th-A fridge.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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the cast of the jersey shore

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops