A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Pickles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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