what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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A jew go out of a bar

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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Betty Whites ALIVE?

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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No. Yes.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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