What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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2

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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The Bible

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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Dani barton= lovely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops