roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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