A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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marshal sterio had sex

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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