Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Susie has Autism

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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Meow.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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