What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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haha, you're an orphan

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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Women's Sports

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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