What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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Gadaffi

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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Women's sports.

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A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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