What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

12

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did th-A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops