What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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