Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Ha

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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im a selling a car

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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alston wang

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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